The Church exists in a succession of generations, and often the shift from one to another feels entering the deepest of mysteries.

I don’t need to tell you that times have very much changed! Many of us still remember the times when many more people went to church regularly, and our buildings hummed with energy. We often struggle to think about how we can entice young people back to church, when in fact the movement away from organized religion has been ongoing for decades.
When I was ordained in 1999, we spoke of Generation X and why they left the Church. We are currently in the middle of Generation Z as now Generation Alpha makes its presence known with implications for all religions.

Gary Nicolosi talks about this in his book Culture Shift: Leading a Growing Church in Uncertain Times which a group of us studied this past fall. Understanding the succession of generations can help us to make more informed decisions as we strategize the best ways to be the Church in the present.

Great Times: Institutional Shifts
Much of our current parish infrastructure dates from the baby boom – a generation born between 1946-1964 during a time of growth and prosperity. The parents of the baby boomers belonged to the Silent Generation (1928-1945), of whom more than 80% were active in Church.

Growing suburbs were where many mainline dominations planted churches with the assurance they would thrive. During this time the Canadian family had on average 4 children; it was a massive demographic cohort. Sunday Schools were full, and every church had a youth group. Church was an important social hub for the community beyond just the Sunday morning gathering; it was a place where much of life played out.

It was our heyday. With nostalgia we wonder: what happened? Was there something we could have done to stem the exodus? As baby boomers reached adulthood, many rejected the faith of their parents. We begin to see the emergence of “Dones”, those who may have grown up in Church but left it behind. For many, it became irrelevant to them.

This demographic change, over which we had no control, had profound impacts upon our parishes. The worst response has been to blame: our clergy, ourselves, our society – even Sunday shopping!! It caused splits in the Anglican foundation as we disagreed over the causes of this shift and blamed each other.

We cannot control demographic trends, but we can control how we respond and think creatively about the structures that sustain us. Many of our beloved parishes were constructed during the boom times, but as we strategize how to flourish today, it is important to honour our vibrant past but plan for a sustainable future.

Changing Times
Subsequent generational cohorts have emerged each with evolving views of church, faith, and religion. Generation X (1965-1980) moved more clearly away from organized, institutional religion. Now spiritual practice became more and privatized. At the same time, the religious “marketplace” became increasingly diverse, offering more choices than the mainline denominations alone. Think of the rise of churches like Willow Creek, for example.

Millennials or Gen Y (1981-1996) saw the emergence of the Internet and were the first to use early social media platforms. This brought new access to information and the sharing of ideas. This generation grew up with few memories of cultural Christianity, and for whom traditional religious language and terminology felt obsolete. It is not that millennials are not spiritual; it is just that they find little meaning in an institutional faith and theology in which they were not raised.

The biggest shift here is that spiritual practice has become individualized and removed from religious institutions. People do not feel the need for Church as they practise yoga, meditation or spend time in nature. For the Church, this does not mean abandoning our core beliefs and the traditions that anchor us, but acknowledging that we are no longer the only spiritual place in people’s lives.

Our opportunity lies in the creation of community that invites and welcomes the experience of others beyond the Sunday morning liturgy. People are far more interested in sharing spiritual practice than we may realize: are we willing to extend ourselves and make space for this?

We are amid Generation Z (2001-2024) who are the least religious generation in history. Yet, with the uncertainty in the world including the COVID-19 pandemic, the rising cost of living, war in Ukraine and the rise of Trumpism, a return to religious observance of this generation has been noticed.

Talk of a Gen Z revival is overblown, but a plateauing out of the exodus from Church is happening. Why? Gen Z craves connection, purpose, and substance, leading some to explore faith for deeper meaning. They have been drawn towards traditional forms of faith including Orthodox, Roman Catholic and (surprise!) Anglican churches. Organized religion can offer community and security that is critical for Zoomers, which goes to show you that you never know how times might change.

The Alpha Generation
Which brings me to the emerging Generation Alpha (2010-2024). Worldwide this is the largest generational cohort ever with more than 2 billion and growing. This is the most technologically savvy generation for whom smart phones are the way they interact with their world. They went through COVID-19 which interrupted their education, and they are part of a global experiment, for screens were placed before them from the youngest age. We are all living now in a great screen age, but with over three hours of daily screen time has impacted this generation’s view of the world.

Yet, Generation Alpha are much more spiritually engaged than we might realize. Smart phones and AI allow for a highly individualized spiritual practice. They explore faith through social media as well as practices like meditation and manifestation.

Generation Alpha learn through short, visual, interactive content, so churches reach them best through embodied storytelling (Godly Play, drama, art, music), micro-videos that invite participation, and strong partnerships with parents and caregivers. To serve them well, make church a safe, joyful place of belonging where kids can ask real questions, practice simple prayer habits, and join hands-on acts of kindness so faith is experienced, not just explained.

If you have questions as to how to put this in practice, please reach out to me; we can explore how to enrich the church experience for Gen Alpha – and perhaps for older generations too!

nmancor@montreal.anglican.ca

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As this edition of the Montreal Anglican arrives in people’s mailboxes, I will be packing the final boxes and preparing for the move in the coming weeks. Some have said to me over the last few months, in a light spirit, “you’re abandoning us.” But I have replied in all seriousness, “I am responding to the call of the Spirit to a new place.”

I have worked and been part of this diocese for almost 30 years, having arrived in Montreal to study political science at McGill and then hearing the Spirit call to discern ordained ministry. For most of my life, I have known this city and this Diocese as home and I have been blessed to have had such a full and robust involvement, both in the city and in the church.

The last 8 and a half years I have had the honour and privilege to serve as Vicar General and Executive Archdeacon – a role which has allowed me to see the hand of God and the work of the Holy Spirit in so many places throughout this diocese. What a blessing it has been to have served along side so many faithful and talented clergy and lay leaders in this diocese.

As I prepare to leave and continue the work of transition with Bishop Victor-David and Archdeacon Deborah Meister, I am excited about the opportunities that lie ahead for this diocese. Of course, the ministry that lies ahead doesn’t come without some hard work and commitment. It is a commitment that needs to be part of the course for which we as church are being called to move into – but indeed a time of excitement and hope for what God has in store for us as a Diocese.

In this season of Advent, I wait patiently to see what wonderful things God has in store for the Diocese of Montreal and for what God is calling me to in the years ahead. I also give thanks for the many friendships, love and encouragement I have experienced over the last three decades and continue to hold you and the work of this diocese in my prayers.

This isn’t so much a good-bye, but rather, until we meet again. In the words of that well known Irish blessing: May the road rise to meet you, may the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand.

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Psalm 23 is truly a wonderful expression of what we expect of a bishop as servant, teacher and shepherd in the image of the Greatest of shepherds, our Lord Jesus Christ, who called us to follow him on the path of serving and caring for people.
For me, Bishop Mary has been a shepherd. As the first female bishop in our diocese, she brought a different way of being a bishop, adding to the role the very particular touch of assurance that a mother can provide.
That’s why, after our trip to Tanzania visiting our partner diocese of Masasi, I got used to calling her ‘‘Askofu Mama’’ in Swahili.
In the Diocese of Masasi the Bishop’s wife is called ‘‘Mama Askofu’’ and the Bishop himself is lovingly called ‘‘Baba Askofu’’, which means Father Bishop.
So if the Bishop is a woman like our own Mary, we can’t call her ‘‘Mama Askofu’’, which would make Mark Gibson the Bishop (I appreciate Mark, too)! Instead, she should be called Askofu Mama, which means Mother Bishop.
Dear Askofu Mama Mary, thank you for being a shepherd to the flock and a guiding light in our lives. As a pioneer, you have quietly strengthened our openness to the richness of our diversity and committed our diocesan church to listening to what the Holy Spirit is saying to us through who we are. Your dedication to the Lord’s work has touched our hearts and souls for ten years. For your wisdom, guidance, and unwavering faith, we are forever grateful. You were and will be a blessing to our diocese of Montreal. We thank God for that.
Asante sana Askofu Mama Mary!

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The wisdom and grace of all of those reasons impressed me greatly, but none more so than the third reason – wanting to give my previous congregation space to reorient themselves.
Most of the other Bishops that I have known wouldn’t have been thinking about caring for a congregation that wasn’t their own, but Bishop Mary did.
Bishop Mary didn’t want to sow further division or dissent among Anglican brothers and sisters, she wanted to exercise as much grace as possible for everyone involved, even people who had previously left her Diocese!
That graciousness will be the thing that I carry with me most from my time under Bishop Mary’s leadership. She has done many wonderful things in my short time in the Diocese, and has impressed me in many ways, but her concern for a congregation that was not her own and taking the opportunity to care for them in a way that even their own Bishop wasn’t doing, will forever be a lesson in godly leadership to me.
Wherever Bishop Mary ends up, and however she continues to serve the Lord after she steps down from her role as the Bishop of Montreal, her legacy of wisdom and grace will forever be something that I will hold onto, and that I will try to emulate in my own ministry.
And at the end of the day, what is a Bishop if not an example to their flock? Thank you, Bishop Mary, for the example of gracious and godly leadership that you have shown us all.

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Or, perhaps – if you are in cleric or lay ministry – do you find that although you are preparing and talking more thoroughly in sermons; in reality, you are being heard less? How about in one-on-one conversations? Do you feel that sometimes the other person is trying to quickly override your input, by wanting to override or counter, with their own opinion?

If yes, well then guess what? These types of situations are quite normal, in today’s hectic world.

Nowadays there is a tidal wave of information that washes upon us 24/7/365. The whole world is at our fingertips “live” and in “real-time.” Headlines change every few minutes, and the iPhone/iPad/Laptop screen you’re watching, may have a news-person reading a story; with an image to the right, a sidebar to the left, a screen-crawl at the top, and another one at the bottom; so that simultaneously you’re following “five different information sources” – ALL at the same time, on the same screen!

No wonder we are easily distracted. We look without seeing, we listen without hearing, and we speak without understanding!
Thus, submerged within this type of environment, what is our greatest challenge? Well for many, (including myself), it’s the “person in the mirror”, and our “sometimes” unruly human hearts. We should always remember that what we are, and feel inside ourselves – will determine how we respond and react to others, from the outside of us!

Now, let’s take a look at how a 2000+ year old Scripture might help clarify for us how we should really be listening, talking, and limiting anger – within our 21st century daily lives.

Here’s one KEY example: James 1:19 – “You must understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger”. Appears simple eh? – But putting it into practice, it WILL become a daily challenge for us all!
So let’s break James 1:19 down into its three components:

1) Be quick to listen = listen more: “Wisdom begins when we listen more, and talk less”. Our current “heads-down” (I-phone) technology can be somewhat useless (and potentially dangerous) if we are so busy and distracted, that we do not see what is going on around us. Thus we become “quick NOT to hear” what others (and God) are saying to us, in different ways, each day. This principle applies in every area of life. Some people talk so much, that they never hear what anyone else says.

In Proverbs 1. 20-33: Wisdom is personified, as a woman. In places within this Scripture, she is called “Lady Wisdom”. She tells those who have refused to listen to her advice that they will be without resources when disaster strikes. They will be punished severely at the end of time. In Proverbs 1.32-33: She says: “For waywardness kills the simple, and the complacency of fools destroys them; but those who listen to me will be secure and will live at ease, without dread of disaster.”
But no one gains wisdom by chance. Wisdom says, “If you seek me, you will find me.” So, are we too busy, worried, preoccupied, or distracted to seek out the wisdom God offers in His written Scriptures?

2) Be slow to speak = talk less. Ecclesiastes 5:2 says it this way: “Never be rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be quick to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you upon earth; therefore let your words be few.” Also it’s very wise, for ALL of us to remember, there is a time to speak, and a time to be silent. Most of us are better at the former, and not so good at the latter!
Today, social media encourages giving quick feedback. Someone says something we don’t like, so without thinking it through, we post a snappy reply, a snarky comment, or a mean-spirited innuendo. You can delete your foolish comment, but you can’t erase it from the Internet!

Another insightful statement is the following: “Speak when you are angry and you’ll make the best speech, you’ll ever regret!”
I always remember when I was a child, and bullied at times; my Father used to tell me “Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you”. Well, I hate to say it now Dad, but that statement is VERY far from the truth! Words CAN do FAR more damage than sticks and stones, and the wounds they leave take FAR longer to heal. Unkind words don’t break bones, they break hearts!

3) Be slow to become angry = calm down. Here the writer of James is NOT saying “never get angry” – that’s unrealistic! We’re ALL going to get angry from time to time. However what he is referring to is that deep emotion which, when released, is like a volcano erupting – it spews red-hot lava all over everything in its path! Yet anger IS an emotion (with God’s help), which we can control!

Another parallel viewpoint is: If we are quick to hear, we will be slow to speak; but if we are slow to hear, we will likely be quick to speak. Quick speaking leads to quick anger. The angrier we get, the faster we speak, and the less we hear!

Naturally, within the written Word, we can readily find examples, as God’s disciples, of how NOT to behave, when dealing with others:
– Be not overbearing, nor violent: Titus 1:7: “For a bishop, as God’s steward, must be blameless; he must not be arrogant or quick-tempered, or addicted to wine, or violent, or greedy for gain”
– Be not quarrelsome, nor quick tempered, not violent, but gentle: 1 Timothy 3: “Not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, and not a lover of money.”
– Or we can also look at Solomon’s wise counsel in Proverbs 16:32, “One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and one whose temper is controlled than one who captures a city.”

Also in retrospect, the writer of James1. V19, added verse 20, which shows us the true reason for devotees of God to “being slow to anger”, as it states: “For human anger does not produce God’s righteousness”. Therefore if you are angry, you cannot do any of the good things that God wants you to complete!

In conclusion, for us to continue moving away from bitterness, anger, and hurtful words, we should also take Ephesians 4:32 to heart: “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.”

We need to extend grace to others, as God has extended His grace to us. We who have been showered with God’s grace in Christ; should be giving to others, the same outpouring of grace, which God gave us. This is God’s plan. We do for others what God has done for us. We have been forgiven; we know what it is like. Now we should be doing the same for others, and NOT left wondering what it means to forgive those who have hurt us. Jesus DIDN’T come down to earth, to make us nicer people – He came down to make us new people.

After having read all the above perspective, and you only think that: “Well, perhaps I should simply try harder to listen more, speak less, and calm down,” that’s a good sentiment, but it’s only a part of the point. For us to understand the whole point, we need to accept having our Lord Jesus living within us, every moment, of every day, for the remainder of our lives! Then with God’s grace, will YOU TRULY bE“Swift to hear, Slow to speak, and Slow to anger!”

In the meantime, God’s Blessing to you all – and as it says in Proverbs 4.23: “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it – flow the springs of life.”

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The blessing bags are a gift we give to children who come to Church. They are not just an activity pack to have on hand, they are a gift given with love.

I heard a beautiful story about a boy who was given one in church recently. He carefully opened the bag and took out each item, one by one. He then put each item back and carefully folded the bag. Finally, he took the bag home to put in his treasure box! This little boy thought Church was the best thing ever! This is one small story of one child in one place. It shows the beautiful ways we can thrill a child’s heart and show families how welcome they are.

All Children Welcome – all the time?

When thinking about child friendliness, you need to consider the facilities you offer and your tolerance for noise. At the very least, providing changing tables is essential. But ask yourselves if you are willing to disrupt your worship space to accommodate small children and if you are willing to put up with some noise and chaos.

Rows of pews are not an ideal environment for wiggly children. With sharp edges and confined spaces, they are ripe for falls, bumps, and squeals. It can also be stressful to try to contain a child in a row of pews. It reminds me of flying across the Atlantic with my children sitting in the middle section of a 747. Not a comfortable journey, though my son did try to walk all the way to Germany one time!

I have sympathy for parents on airplanes whose children run a little wild, and I feel the same in Church. If a parent makes the effort to come to Church with young children, let’s try to make their lives a little easier.

Many churches dedicate a section of their pews, usually towards the back of the sanctuary and create a play space where parents and children can be present in Church in a more relaxed way. Some will include a comfortable couch and soft toys or a colouring space.

Remember the stresses of parenting young children. If we make it even more stressful for parents in Church by making no accommodations for their needs or even worse, consigning them to the basement of the Church, why would they come? If we shush children up in church, then are they welcome at all?

The point is to try to show some love to young parents and give them a break so they can be in church. It is also to foster spirituality in the youngest members of the community who are themselves innately spiritual beings. Spiritual formation begins at birth and continues for the whole of our lives.

Small children are noisy little creatures and will not necessarily be silent at the silent times of the service. On the other hand, the raucous sounds of children in church always signifies hope and life. We know there is another generation because they are there with us making their presence felt. This reminds us that, as with youth, young children are not the future of the Church, they are very much part of the now of the Church.

Having children present in a service they can barely follow, is an investment in their spiritual selves that can have lifelong benefits. They may not understand what they are seeing, but these vivid images will stay with them and in time, they will be able to put the many pieces of the puzzle together. Later, this will provide a reservoir of memories and traditions for their lives.

I recall sitting with my parents in Church and found myself drawn to the stained-glass windows. Their colours were mesmerising to me. I was in a service recently where a little baby was trying out her lungs as she sang along with the choir, her special music lingering in our ears after the organ had ceased. Heaven!

Children’s Spirituality: The power of story

Many churches have a children’s “moment” towards the beginning of the service, usually with the priest sitting on the floor. This can be a way to integrate children into the service at the beginning, but it can quickly become little more than a gesture before the children go do their thing downstairs and the adults stay upstairs. I confess that sometimes my children’s story was thought up during the processional hymn as a digest of the sermon. We can do better than this.

Much of Sunday school is based around story, but I have found many adults like to hear the stories of the Bible themselves, stories they may not have heard for years. These are the stories of our faith, and they are meant for all generations. Perhaps sometimes in Church everyone could be integrated into a beautiful storytelling time which invites all to wonder and make meaning.

Godly Play storytelling creates sacred space to present the stories of our faith, wonder about them together and then find open ended ways for us to engage with the stories in our own way. Created by Jerome Barryman of the Episcopal Church, Godly Play tries to integrate what happens upstairs and downstairs to allow children to make connections with the stories they hear and the liturgy they see. I was telling a Godly Play story in church one time during a service and a child looked at one of the stained-glass windows and pointed out that it was the same story.

I have told Godly Play stories to both children and adults and the responses I have heard are always deeply moving. We all have the capacity to wonder. Children are innately spiritual beings, and our role is to create space to allow them to explore faith their way.

What about the Eucharist?

There continues to be debate about allowing young children to participate in the Eucharist by receiving Holy Communion. The reason given is that children should wait until they can “understand” what is going on. Others prefer to wait until confirmation.

Eucharist is a beautiful mystery of the Church, and I suggest none of us understand what it is all about. It is a gift, a symbolic and sacramental action that binds us to Christ and to one another. Why should we exclude children from this? It is a way to include children in the ongoing story of faith and of the People of God. When is the right age?

When I was a young child in the early 70s, it was becoming possible for children to receive communion at the discretion of their parents. As the church we went to tended to be more experimental, I was allowed to receive when my mother thought it was right. This was when I was about four years old. She taught me how to approach the altar rail, to kneel and hold my hands the right way. She taught me the reverence needed for that moment. Over the years of my childhood and adolescence, participating in communion along with everyone else, gave me a deep sense of belonging to the People of God that has formed the foundation of my faith.

Which brings me back to the blessing bags. They are a small gesture, but from the perspective of a five-year-old, a big deal. Think of children’s ministry that way: the giving of gifts to children and their parents, creating the foundation that lasts a lifetime.
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