Do you ever feel that, in our hustle and bustle world of mega information, it’s sometimes harder to get a word in edgewise? Not only amongst parishioners, or friends, but even amongst members of your own family?
Or, perhaps – if you are in cleric or lay ministry – do you find that although you are preparing and talking more thoroughly in sermons; in reality, you are being heard less? How about in one-on-one conversations? Do you feel that sometimes the other person is trying to quickly override your input, by wanting to override or counter, with their own opinion?
If yes, well then guess what? These types of situations are quite normal, in today’s hectic world.
Nowadays there is a tidal wave of information that washes upon us 24/7/365. The whole world is at our fingertips “live” and in “real-time.” Headlines change every few minutes, and the iPhone/iPad/Laptop screen you’re watching, may have a news-person reading a story; with an image to the right, a sidebar to the left, a screen-crawl at the top, and another one at the bottom; so that simultaneously you’re following “five different information sources” – ALL at the same time, on the same screen!
No wonder we are easily distracted. We look without seeing, we listen without hearing, and we speak without understanding!
Thus, submerged within this type of environment, what is our greatest challenge? Well for many, (including myself), it’s the “person in the mirror”, and our “sometimes” unruly human hearts. We should always remember that what we are, and feel inside ourselves – will determine how we respond and react to others, from the outside of us!
Now, let’s take a look at how a 2000+ year old Scripture might help clarify for us how we should really be listening, talking, and limiting anger – within our 21st century daily lives.
Here’s one KEY example: James 1:19 – “You must understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger”. Appears simple eh? – But putting it into practice, it WILL become a daily challenge for us all!
So let’s break James 1:19 down into its three components:
1) Be quick to listen = listen more: “Wisdom begins when we listen more, and talk less”. Our current “heads-down” (I-phone) technology can be somewhat useless (and potentially dangerous) if we are so busy and distracted, that we do not see what is going on around us. Thus we become “quick NOT to hear” what others (and God) are saying to us, in different ways, each day. This principle applies in every area of life. Some people talk so much, that they never hear what anyone else says.
In Proverbs 1. 20-33: Wisdom is personified, as a woman. In places within this Scripture, she is called “Lady Wisdom”. She tells those who have refused to listen to her advice that they will be without resources when disaster strikes. They will be punished severely at the end of time. In Proverbs 1.32-33: She says: “For waywardness kills the simple, and the complacency of fools destroys them; but those who listen to me will be secure and will live at ease, without dread of disaster.”
But no one gains wisdom by chance. Wisdom says, “If you seek me, you will find me.” So, are we too busy, worried, preoccupied, or distracted to seek out the wisdom God offers in His written Scriptures?
2) Be slow to speak = talk less. Ecclesiastes 5:2 says it this way: “Never be rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be quick to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you upon earth; therefore let your words be few.” Also it’s very wise, for ALL of us to remember, there is a time to speak, and a time to be silent. Most of us are better at the former, and not so good at the latter!
Today, social media encourages giving quick feedback. Someone says something we don’t like, so without thinking it through, we post a snappy reply, a snarky comment, or a mean-spirited innuendo. You can delete your foolish comment, but you can’t erase it from the Internet!
Another insightful statement is the following: “Speak when you are angry and you’ll make the best speech, you’ll ever regret!”
I always remember when I was a child, and bullied at times; my Father used to tell me “Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you”. Well, I hate to say it now Dad, but that statement is VERY far from the truth! Words CAN do FAR more damage than sticks and stones, and the wounds they leave take FAR longer to heal. Unkind words don’t break bones, they break hearts!
3) Be slow to become angry = calm down. Here the writer of James is NOT saying “never get angry” – that’s unrealistic! We’re ALL going to get angry from time to time. However what he is referring to is that deep emotion which, when released, is like a volcano erupting – it spews red-hot lava all over everything in its path! Yet anger IS an emotion (with God’s help), which we can control!
Another parallel viewpoint is: If we are quick to hear, we will be slow to speak; but if we are slow to hear, we will likely be quick to speak. Quick speaking leads to quick anger. The angrier we get, the faster we speak, and the less we hear!
Naturally, within the written Word, we can readily find examples, as God’s disciples, of how NOT to behave, when dealing with others:
– Be not overbearing, nor violent: Titus 1:7: “For a bishop, as God’s steward, must be blameless; he must not be arrogant or quick-tempered, or addicted to wine, or violent, or greedy for gain”
– Be not quarrelsome, nor quick tempered, not violent, but gentle: 1 Timothy 3: “Not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, and not a lover of money.”
– Or we can also look at Solomon’s wise counsel in Proverbs 16:32, “One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and one whose temper is controlled than one who captures a city.”
Also in retrospect, the writer of James1. V19, added verse 20, which shows us the true reason for devotees of God to “being slow to anger”, as it states: “For human anger does not produce God’s righteousness”. Therefore if you are angry, you cannot do any of the good things that God wants you to complete!
In conclusion, for us to continue moving away from bitterness, anger, and hurtful words, we should also take Ephesians 4:32 to heart: “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.”
We need to extend grace to others, as God has extended His grace to us. We who have been showered with God’s grace in Christ; should be giving to others, the same outpouring of grace, which God gave us. This is God’s plan. We do for others what God has done for us. We have been forgiven; we know what it is like. Now we should be doing the same for others, and NOT left wondering what it means to forgive those who have hurt us. Jesus DIDN’T come down to earth, to make us nicer people – He came down to make us new people.
After having read all the above perspective, and you only think that: “Well, perhaps I should simply try harder to listen more, speak less, and calm down,” that’s a good sentiment, but it’s only a part of the point. For us to understand the whole point, we need to accept having our Lord Jesus living within us, every moment, of every day, for the remainder of our lives! Then with God’s grace, will YOU TRULY bE“Swift to hear, Slow to speak, and Slow to anger!”
In the meantime, God’s Blessing to you all – and as it says in Proverbs 4.23: “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it – flow the springs of life.”
